I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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