I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
