I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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