My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
