never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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