before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
