I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
