whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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