one word: firstdatebathroomanal
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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