But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
