I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
