Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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