dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
