You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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