fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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