That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
