Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
