I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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