omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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