Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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