i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
