Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
