hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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