Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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