I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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