and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
