you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
