You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
