yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
