You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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