glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
