You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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