At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
