She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
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