I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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