I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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