Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
