when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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