I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
