Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
