This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
