I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
