I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
