Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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