Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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