just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
