my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Panties = found
Randomize
