just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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