Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
