my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
