Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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