I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
