We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
